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Friday, 14 May 2010 02:01
As Tommy-Two-Tone asserts: “The Church does not have a practice of disconnection. It does not have any such thing.”

But do they????  Here’s pretty much how it goes down.

I’m thinking as I write this, that this is pretty typical of the response one gets when one decides to become independent – and announces it.

Upon discovering a blog existed (Marty’s), the relief was palpable. I became rather glued and/or addicted to finding truths. I started to de-PTS and some of the invalidation that was so part of my thinking (after 32 years in the S.O.) started to fall away. It explained so much. No, it actually explained everything. Some of the posts kicked me in the teeth, some the heart, some at the core of my being. I took a major ride on the tone scale. The hardest part (for me) was confronting the evil. The loss of what I’ve dedicated over ½ my life to was not easy to deal with (understatement).

In studying all the information to be had, all I could do is conjure thoughts and pictures of “what can be done?” and “what can I do?”  But that was kind of a moot point, because I have a family. I have a son that I love with every fiber of my being. I love his wife and my two new grandsons. They are  Scientologists. Both ex-SO, but know anything outside the C of M is black, and anything inside, is white.  Knowing the op basis of the C of M, the disconnection enforcement, the veiled if not verbalized threats of “no-eternity-for-you”, and how the whole subject of “you’re either with us or against us” is tied up and enforced…. well, I knew what I was facing. So I put it off.

It took 8 months to move. Longest comm lag for me (this lifetime).

About 2 weeks ago, I got a really sweet phone call from my daughter-in-law saying why don’t you come visit for 4 or 5 days. See the kids etc etc. So I did.

And for the most part, it was nice.

But the real purpose for the invitation was to “salvage me”.  My son was worried about me and had contacted OSA asking for help. Had he had his way, OSA staff would have come and seen me personally. He had this conditionally set up. We sat and he explained to me how what I was looking at was insane. I had gotten on the internet while I was there, and my daughter-in-law got into my email looking for stuff that proved I was really off the rails. My son made it abundantly clear to me that he would not listen to any of the “entheta” (ie the truth), and basically pleaded with me to cease my course of action. And you know? The funny thing is, is that he really was doing this out of love for me. And I knew it and know it. But he won’t look.

When back home, I got an email from my daughter in-law that was heartfelt. Pushed the mom buttons (which were pushable), and quoted me from the Data Series and other relevant (to her) policies and implored me to cease.

Then I talked to my son more, with him telling me that he was going to have to disconnect, but I probably have a few hours; to let him know I could come stay with him – he’d put me up; I could get the real truth, and and and.

So the hours elapsed and that’s the end of it. No return phone calls. Nice Mother’s Day. The next day, my in-box if full of “friends” who wanted to check with me if it’s true that I’d resigned from the church,and/ or joined an SP group. No one knew anything about this cycle except me, my son, my daughter-in-law and OSA. I’m assuming my daughter-in-law hit my facebook profile and sent a bulk announcement. Then it went viral with all manner of facebook police jumping aboard.

In a 48 hour period my “friends” on Facebook went from 214 to 130.
Here’s a smattering of them:
“I was told there is something on you at AOLA”
“Is it true you resigned from the Church?”
“Brief me. I just got some news, not so good news on you crossing over the fence. I don’t have any other data except a rumor – what’s the deal? Are you okay? Still with the team, or what? Brief me.”
“I just received a comm from someone on facebook telling me you resigned from the church and are hooked up with an SP group”.
“I was informed by someone that you have resigned from the church. And that you have connections to known SP groups. Is this truly the case?”

...and my fave:

"You have (so and so) on your friends list. You should take him off, as he is a member of an SP group called 'Free Heber Jentzsch.'”

And so it goes.

But I let my son know (via email) that this is the very thing I am dedicated to fixing. Obviously, this isn’t the only thing, but it’ll get fixed along with the bigger picture: Scientology back on track. The good guys who do that will be me and you and all of us. And it will all be all right again.

Don’t mean for this to be soppy. It just is what it is. Had I done this 8 months ago, the result would have been the same. I could have been doing more for 8 months. And with what we are handling – that’s an appreciable amount of time.

Okay, we’ll fix it.

Written by Linda McCarthy

 

Comments   

 
+1 # War and Peace 2010-05-13 22:49
Thank you Linda for the update.
Even though the Church is being tried virtually in the Court of Public Opinion and Major Media even questioning the Tax exemption "charity" status, there is no case change.
No humility.
No knocking off the enforced break up of families which gets them horrible internet coverage.
This might be one of the hottest buttons (ENFORCED DISCONNECTION OF FAMILY MEMBERS) causing world wide resentment and they
CONTINUE to do it.
Looking forward to some of your "WAR Stories" on this blog.
ML
 
 
# Alex Metheny 2010-05-14 04:57
Hi Linda,

I enjoy your writing. This article communicates the initial horror of realizing what Scientology has become. This reminds me of the Nazi kids who turned their parents in for disloyalty during WW2.

I do believe that ethics and personal integrity is the only way out. I have lost several "good friends". I mean people that were like family to me. One guy said he would "ask" the MAA if it was ok to be in comm with me if I resigned. Pretty weak.

I myself did resign. I felt it was the appropriate ethics gradient and a good way of disconnecting from that suppression.

I wish you well in your journey.

ARC,
Alex
 
 
# Carol 2010-05-14 05:03
Tom you are spot on! Many need to apply the tech they so dearly protect. I have seen this where many know there is a problem but continue to turn a blind eye because of some justification or another. I know families torn apart by this and their excuse just does not hold any water whatsoever.
 
 
# ButterflyChaser 2010-05-14 05:57
Hey, Linda -

Yes, the Facebook Police are in full force! Buzz, buzz, buzz!

My husband was just declared a few days ago for refusing to disconnect from another Scientologist on Facebook who was declared. Where is it going to stop? Where does it end?

Your situation, however, is a bit rougher than ours. Thankfully, our family also "woke up" around the same time and our most special friends are out, too.

What we were actually surprised at was how immensely liberating it feels to be declared! This is something we didn't expect! I read about people who felt this way after their declare, but I couldn't "grok" it. Now I get it. Suddenly, it feels like our whole world has opened up and a huge cloud has lifted. It's like the same phenomenon you get after getting a correctly done 10 Aug. Immense relief and freedom!

Linda, you are one beautiful and courageous woman. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story with us. Big hug from me. XO
 
 
# jim logan 2010-05-14 07:04
Yes Linda, we will fix it. In fact, we're knee-deep onto that cycle today. Ethics first, then tech and admin.

THIS is what we signed on for, sanity, reason and a good forward look.
 
 
# Linda 2010-05-14 07:22
Yeah, it's quite a ride. But Tom (Virgil) and I are both dealing with this, and quite frankly, it's a study in PTSness. Tom (being the consummate evaluator), nailed in in his article "The Suppressive Middle Class." ( on Scn-Cult) At this point, facebook is pretty dev-t. But one thing that IS pretty cool, is that some unexpected/not known, people said they read my declaration and have no problem with it and will always be my friend. Not a high percentage, but they are out there being quiet, and when you step forward, they hook up for real (they are looking for terminals -- and voila!)...So that's a good thing:-)
Linda
 
 
# Another Jeff 2010-05-14 07:57
Linda, Thank you for the write-up. After being out for some time I tend to forget what it's like at the 'raw' stages. I did realize something from reading this, you often hear the term "cognitive Dissonance" to describe how someone can stay in with all the observable outpoints. Well, when you are so heavily "in" like your son and daughter in law, there isn't even any dissonance, you are 100% completely (for lack of a better term) brainwashed. I have a friend in Clearwater who was dealing with a similiar situation and he spent some time trying to handle the relative to no avail because he thought this relative was willing to listen etc.. I knew and he found that despite thinking he really knew this person there actually was "NO ONE HOME". We need some big bombs to drop to wake these thetans up so we can have actual comm cycles with them.
 
 
# Guy de Fromage 2010-05-14 08:47
I wish you the best of luck in handling this situation. Just some dramatization on their part. Please spread your story as far as you can. Someone should be compiling disconnection stories - it might make a nice book.
 
 
+1 # Thoughtful 2010-05-15 17:52
In addition to what the others have said here, Linda, I want to acknowledge you for your great courage and even spirit of play in the face of adversity.

ButterflyChaser -- don't tell that sniping idiot Tommy Davis this, but many times I've looked back at the consequences of getting declared when I routed out from Int in March 2004. And it was the best thing that could have happened to me; not for the reasons intended by C of M, but for the actual effect -- which was to largely sever connections to the most suppressive influences in my life entirely missed in past PTS handlings; getting declared enabled me to recover my OWN viewpoint on life, to regain my OWN sense of right and wrong.

LRH says the out-ethics person is trying to put ethics in on themselves continually and that is why they blow. And the other side of that coin is banishing others. Perhaps on one level that's why David Miscavige declares so many people: it's the only way he can prevent himself from harming us. Weird but true.

Anyway ButterflyChaser, I bet you find your health improves. And your luck. :-P

Congratulations to your husband on achieving the one status that lies above even "Maximus Patronus Donatorious Excellanious Miscavuus Buttlickamus" (the current highest IAS status).

Getting declared from the Church of Miscavige is, no joke, a badge of honor. Like having a death order on you from Adolf Hitler. And you surivived and Hitler didn't.

People: Get your declares while you can! They won't last long.

Steve
 
 
# Guest 2010-05-15 17:56
Thanks, Steve, for your support and encouraging comments. Everything you said is - so, so true.

I think you are right, "Get your declares while you can!" If my husband, who is the most honorable, highest integrity person I know can get declared, the church is really "losing it". I think a lot of people are in mild shock right now over this. Enough to wake them up? Probably not. But at least they can add it to their mental list of things that shouldn't be. And someday, hopefully soon, they will wake the hell up.
 
 
# Karen 2010-05-15 18:07
Hmmm...

Maybe I should frame mine. I think I still have the original envelope it was sent in. LOL
 
 
# Marta 2010-05-15 17:56
Linda - thanks for this article. You stated it beautifully. The angst, the ride, et al. I got to the point of just wanting the whole stinking mess off my lines! What a relief. The "disconnect" stuff is pretty comical, tho' isn't it? And I've found it get's funnier - more ridiculous - as time goes on. More and more just WTF? WTF? WTF?.
 
 
# Linda 2010-05-16 13:18
Marta,
Yes, comical in a funny kinda way. It's also a learning experience and well, interesting.
It's like, you look and find who is disseminating stuff about you. My real friends inquired "is this true? -- talk to me" and your "friends" that are on there because you had a comm line, just quietly delete you to save their sorry souls. That may sound a bit calloused, and I suppose it is, but they too will benefit from what we do.
Linda
 
 
# Karen 2010-05-15 18:07
Linda,

Again, thank you for having the integrity to spot the changes in the church and to speak up about it.

You obviously are a very credible person to have so many people write you regarding your decision to leave the church rather than simply cutting the comm line. I hope that your actions have left a seed of doubt that in time will germinate to an honest inspection for each of those who wrote to you.

Then, there are those who will see that you have left, who know your true character and will start inspecting right away.

You described so well how I felt when I first ran across Marty's blog. I think it was a common feeling for most people looking at the truth. That feeling of PTSness all blows after coming out and it is very refreshing.
 
 
# David St Lawrence 2010-05-15 18:16
Linda,

I am sorry that you were not able to break your family's conditioning during your visit. The power of a cult lies in the degree of control it exerts on its members.

It took me years to come to the realization that the COS had morphed into a cult while I was in it.

You on the other hand, having the persistence the break away from your conditioning will experience continuing growth as an OT now that you are actually severing your emotional ties to those who would drag you back in.

With your training, you will soon develop your own version of an Independent Scientology dissem formula where you can compassionately find their ruin and than bring them to understanding that Scientology is alive and well outside the church.

Consider this, if you will, anyone who is active in the church right now is IGNORING the human rights abuses, face rippings, the Ponzi scheme of the Idle Orgs which are destroying scientology or...

they are COMPLICIT in hiding this information from others.

The truth you bring them is too painful for them to bear. You will have to find a gradient that will permit an entry into their currently closed minds. Something like. "Don't you remember when Scientology used to be fun?"

Good luck!

David St Lawrence
Old Auditor
possiblyhelpfuladvice.com
 
 
# Linda 2010-05-16 18:11
...and helpful advice it is. Thank you.
Linda
 
 
# Linda 2010-05-16 18:11
Kare,
Nicely said, too true -- and thank you.
This is just such an adventure. It's gonna be work, but this is the adventure I'm interested in - as are all of us.
Linda
 
 
# TRUTH 2010-05-17 01:01
Linda,

You have been true to yourself with your declaration. You and Tom are extremely valuable to the Independent Scientology group.
Your son will soon join you and appreciate you for your integrity and helping to salvage LRH's legacy.
Thank you, Linda for all you are doing. I love you dearly!
XOXOX
 

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