Today Marty published a write up from Karen Hollander that tells what precipitated Diana’s getting into deep shit with David Miscavige in the summer of 2003. As his document explains, she dared to delete a section from an acceptance speech thanking COB and RTC for helping to make CC Paris attain Saint Hill size.

First of all, they didn’t really make Saint Hill size — it was a typical Miscavige stat push, with overwhelming outside intervention. Second of all, anything positive that happened in Scientology for the last three decades happened despite DM. Not because of him.

Since Diana and I spent a great deal of time together from late 1997 until December 2003, I thought I would write up some of what I know.

Through the years we became close friends and I'm not sure if she had any other terminals she could talk to as freely or safely as she could with me since everyone at the Int base was continually indoctrinated to "write up" anyone forwarding "black PR" to them in private — but I openly considered that bullshit. Hence, I was safe.

For those who do not know, Diana Hubbard and I were the two people most involved in writing DM's event videos... besides DM of course who micromanaged every element and issued some 12-14 linear feet of transcripts (instructions) on how to write every single aspect. These videos — degrading trash — along with the event speeches — verbal garbage — were the central means for the dissemination of the Great Miscavige Gospel (read, "propaganda") continually positioning Dear Leader as Top Savior and "New LRH." Ironically, Miscavige shared the same fascination with A/V as Nazi Germany's infamous minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, who earlier used films to soften up the German people for the acceptance of Nazi ideology and genocide.

For our part, Diana and I were what LRH called "captive brains" — unwilling participants enslaved under heavy duress. I made no bones about the fact that I despised everything about event videos and scriptwriting under DM and hated the events because they accomplished nothing. Believe it or not I said that almost continually for six years, and all of it accomplished nothing until I finally added “and so I’m routing out of the Sea Org.”

In the mean time we labored on, two slaves chained to the same oar.

A small window

Scripts mostly got written at night, late at night, after everyone else was gone. That was really the only time it was quiet enough to write. During the day there were constant interruptions, phone calls, interrogations, screaming matches, meetings with COB, visits from his oily snob staff, meter checks, cramming officers, executives, and last but not least ethics officers and sec checkers. So that meant Diana and I (and often Dan Zimmatore) sat side by side at a computer, working our way through it all.

Diana had a small window above her desk. The IMPR office was located in what used to be a small cabana. Diana's office was in what used to be a tiny bathroom. So the small window was located high on the wall... all I could ever see out of it was a bit of tree limb and sky. How many times I saw darkness turn to daylight and all without a bit of sleep. It was a window exactly like that in a old-time prison cell. And when I gazed out I felt exactly like the prisoner I was.

Yet I was also there in the morning in her tiny office when she opened letters and presents sent to her by Mary Sue. I knew and sometimes partook from Diana's secret stash of chocolates she kept in a drawer. Diana ate a little and nibbled a lot… mostly chocolate! I shared her personal grief when Mary Sue died... and not a word was spoken... just so much dust in the wind. To speak up would have brought the house crashing down since Mary Sue was officially declared persona non grata by DM — but it was clear Diana did not share the same opinion of the lady who did more to help LRH nurture and protect Scientology throughout the tumultuous events of the '50s, '60s and '70s. She loved her mother as she loved her father and I loved it when she related a little story perhaps about life at Saint Hill.

Diana could be short tempered when she was tired — I'm the same way I'm sorry to say. We, in the Sea Org, were long on awake hours and always short on sleep. When tempers flared we just brushed it off. It was normal. Miscavige's creation called the "Int base" pitted everyone against everyone else, yet we remained friends despite everything. Time and again after finding ourselves stranded at the Int base at 4 or 5 AM, Dan Zimmatore and I caught a ride with Diana — 9 miles into Hemet.

A great thing about Diana was that there was so much of the Old Man in her. You couldn't help but see LRH's mannerisms and expressions when she talked. But Diana was also valuable because of who she was.

Together we weathered countless DM's shit storms, insane tantrums and nuclear meltdowns. And after the screaming was over and we were alone, it was usual for Diana to say to me "God, I hate this fucking place!" No one else in Int Management ever said anything like that. But with Diana, she said it all the time. I felt the same way of course, but I was pleasantly shocked to hear it coming from her.

Diana Hubbard was a terrible lemming from the get go.

We talked numerous times about her hatred for the "Int Execs" especially GL and MY because they were liars and total patsies to DM who refused to stand up to him. That was really the heart of it.

And if you doubt any of that, ask yourself if it was really an accident Diana Hubbard's office was a tiny bathroom.

Honey Badger Gives a Crap After All

Diana’s expressions of fierce contempt for DM’s patsies and ultimately DM himself built in intensity until that fateful trip to the Freewinds in June of 2003, the year when DM’s stats for violence and abuse were “straight up and vertical” — the only time he had a stat that was.

And then she went too far by cutting the King of Nothing out of his own propaganda piece. Oops. Honey Badger apparently did give a crap about that and so Diana was officially hard busted and that was a big problem for me because she had been my writing partner for six years. I secretly spoke with her in the Garage where she was working only to find out she was not displeased with being out of the hot seat.

Before she was even back on the base I was also pulled in for sec checking and roll backs due to my our close friendship. I was told by my auditor — I think it was Claire Headley — that it was well known we were close friends. We all knew who wrote the questions in our sec checks, who was talking in the auditor’s ear phone, or sending in text messages mid session causing the auditor to abruptly stop and exit for a conference only to resume with a new line of questioning — DM. And so it was little surprise when I found myself being interrogated on the meter to see if Diana and I had been privately plotting to leave together or if there had ever been any "out-2D" between us or even casual flirting or perhaps a friendly back rub? I was specifically asked if I had ever rubbed her shoulders or vice versa. Of course I came up clean. But particularly of interest to DM was if Diana had ever voiced any “black PR on COB” to me. As per usual, everyone was accused in DM's world of forwarding “black PR” on DM and anyone who was important was subjected to unrelenting accusation like having a fire hose sprayed in their face.

With Diana out of the picture the dynamics of my situation changed dramatically. Together, she and I were just able to stay afloat on Mad River Miscavige. Without her, there was no one left to help except DM patsies. It would take a super human effort to keep from going over the falls and by that time I had already been through so many cataclysms and rogue waves I had lost all fear. There is a point where threats and duress inevitably backfire.

Dan Zimmatore had faked suicide by scratching his wrists and privately chuckled about it to me because he had outwitted our jailers and bought a swift ticked off the Int base. I, along with almost every other Clear and OT, had been put back on Dianetics after spending 6 months on the Purif with Amy Scobee (who spent 8 months).

The whole base had been declared in a lower condition to DM for over a year. And of course anyone on scriptwriting or speech writing was never not in lower conditions since now matter what we did it wasn’t good enough for DM. I could go on, but why bother. Someday maybe I’ll write my own book.

Suffice it to say I had realized it was fruitless to stay. I was tired of the continuous multi-layers of punishments, tired of being unmocked at every turn. But most of all, I was dead tired of being prevented from doing anything productive to help people through Scientology. What had once been so easy was rendered utterly impossible under David Miscavige.

Marketing Strikes Back

I stumbled upon a book who’s author said the problem with Earth is it’s populated by victims. HIs message to “stop being a victim and take responsibility for yourself” hit me right between the eyes like a tomahawk. And so while scriptwriting continued without Diana I was spiritually done. I made it my business to disseminate that message to as many others as I could. It was easy to do. I simply told people about "this interesting book I had read" eventually nailing them with that empowering message. I bought extra copies and handled them out.

To replace Diana, Miscavige sent in Danny Sherman. But the previous Spring Danny had also been put through an the wringer by Miscavige and had undergone a nasty valence shift. He went into the only safe valence at the int base: as a Miscavige Mini-me (SP). Danny and I had formerly been friends, but suddenly he was cold, arrogant and entirely distant. He loathed anything not Miscavige and so he loathed me. The subsequent scripting evolution for the IAS winner videos was a blood bath the like of which I had never experienced, and I crawled through it like the living dead.

In October 2003, as we rolled into scripting the many New Years videos DM sent in more reinforcements in the form of Mike Rinder and other execs. But Mike was the only one who could write a script. In early December DM attacked and beat Mike savagely because he made an edit in a video Miscavige didn't like — of course it was not even Mike's hat but mine — if you can think with the idea that my “hat” was to write destructive videos for DM or else (“else” being I’d never see my wife again, be RPFed, lose the OT levels forever, etc.).

From the sec check questions after Diana was busted, I knew she would never again be allowed to open her mouth against Little Hitler. The jig was up and my mind was made up.

Not only that, but all staff were about to be moved from living in Hemet to living on the base inside the razor wire fences, cameras, and motion sensors. I was not the only one who saw the writing on the wall… the Int base was about to become Scientology Alcatraz.

When Miscavige discovered I had been running my own marketing campaign to spread an antidote to his suppression (the antidote being “to stop being a victim and take responsibility for yourself”) I found myself in considerable hot water. I was abruptly taken off post in December 2003 and put on manual labor. But first I had to list out everyone to whom I had spread that horrible idea, which turned out to be 35 key people one of whom was Karen Hollander. Guess the idea didn’t take on her since she’s still being a victim and refusing to take responsibility for herself.

Throughout 2003, Miscavige had been continually threatening to “offload the Int base.” Providence finally shined down on me the Sunday night when a security guard told me to report to HCO, and from there I was directed onto a waiting bus that was soon to remove the first 100 Sea Org veterans for offload to “Happy Valley” — about 16 miles from the Int base in the foothills of Mt San Jacinto. The next morning we were informed that we were all in serious trouble and all slated for permanent offload — it was intended to scare us into being good DMbots. But two out of the 100 people didn’t scare so easily and they calmly informed their keepers that we intended to leave for real.

Silver Lining

Of course I knew it wouldn't be that easy to leave, and so I already had a plan in place for that too — to convince DM that I had never been qualified for Int staff in the first place. As an expert scriptwriter I wrote a script to set myself free. And I’m proud to say DM never saw it coming. I had noted that DM would never accept a denial of wrongdoing, but he would always accept a confession of guilt no matter how far fetched. And so in my daily sec checks I began to methodically “confess” to transgressions all of which had a common denominator — each one was a specific violation of a qualification for the Int base.

Mind control is an interesting subject and I’ve experimented with it quite a lot to learn how to survive it — but only on the receiving end. I discovered there existed a silver lining for those who are being subjected to Black Scientology — the meter reads and FNs based on what is truly the greatest good.

In the worst-case scenario where captors are using Scientology to suppress, entrap and coerce you toward death, you can freely lie to them and the meter will FN. When you need it to read on something that is not charged, it will read. And no matter how many times the auditor checks for a false read, even though it is a false read, it will not register as one. And when you really think about it, it all makes perfect sense.

As Marty has hinted, the whole thrust of Scientology is to heal through understanding. When Scientology technology is used instead to injure through lies you can freely flaunt your suppressors and the tech itself will protect you.

The tech will protect you.

Just as LRH said.

Diana was a fighter. And I predict she will leave.

The only way to help Scientology today is to leave the Church and publicly speak out LOUD and CLEAR against the violence, abuse and criminality. Because despite what David Miscavige would have everyone believe (thanks to the embedded false data contained in his endless propaganda videos and speeches) violence, abuse and criminality have NOTHING to do with healing through understanding.

Thoughtful