Robin Rhyne, Grad V Auditor

I am hereby declaring myself no longer associated with the corporation that professes to be Scientology. That corporation being one that, while wearing the outward trappings of and professing to represent the works and dreams of L. Ron Hubbard, is in reality an inverse corollary.

In 1978 I encountered Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health and my life was irrevocably and forever changed for the better. The path to enlightenment and spiritual freedom was laid before me and I chose to step on the carpet and take the ride on up.  To say that my reality of the world around me changed radically is an understatement that only someone who has had the same experience can appreciate. For anyone who has not, I’ll use the analogy of the Apostle Paul on the road to Damascus.  A rough analogy but nonetheless one that relates the degree of shift of viewpoint that I experienced in a short window of time.  I burned the midnight oil, trained as an auditor and then shortly thereafter joined staff at the old Southwest Mission. I was out to change myself and the world!

Not too long after joining staff, things began to come unraveled. The Mission Holder was declared, turmoil ensued, it seemed that things turned upside-down. And there was a shift in the undercurrent that could be felt, just ever so slightly.

Time marched on, I ran into stops and barriers, as one is wont to do in life. I soldiered on with my eye on the goal of becoming a professional auditor. Finally, after many years of work I made it! Auditing at the org was a dream come true! But the external pressures filtered down, I saw things, experienced things, that did not line up with what I’d studied in the works of LRH. I put it down to my inadequacies. I needed to get up the Bridge, I needed to pop out of whatever false valence (personality) I was acting out. This was Ron’s church, they could not be wrong. These people from Florida and California who arrived to dictate could not be wrong. Therefore that left me as the faulty cog.

Let me digress here for a moment to state that 97.5% of the missionares who cam to Dallas were good people, people with the similar ideals as mine. That they were under the pall of a malign influence, that they forwarded a malign purpose never occurred to me. Hence it was too easy to grant myself the title of “source of all the bad feelings” or whatever the item was that I must have been giving myself at the time.Five year contract up, agreement fulfilled. The pressures and inconsistencies of the IAS and upper management pressure were filtering down to my level. I decided that I was done. But I was the only auditor in the HGC. So I stayed on. I started moonlighting in order to cover rent and bills. Then came the big hack job of a missionaire who told me that I would be declared if I did not quit my job and come on full time staff. I made my choice, I walked.  Calmer heads prevailed and I was allowed to complete my routing off form.Fast forward, I was married and had a family. A call from the org to come in and help recover public. How exciting! I was on my way. This was where I learned the first of several hard lessons about how management operates. I was bums rushed into coming on staff to audit at night. Keep my job, just get GAT updates done and no big sweat. Against my better judgment I agreed. Off to Flag to get GAT updates done. This was all feeling way too creepy. But that was just the evil little monster inside me, my risible fears were to be disregarded.  As the van crossed the causeway and I caught sight of the Ft.Harrison, a sense of dread filled me like I have not felt my entire lifetime. It was as though I was Frodo staring at the gates to Mordor knowing that I had to walk the path to the Cracks of Doom. I went to the MAA, told her that I did not need to be here, that I needed to go home! I got pooh poohed and sent on my way, told how the world was in horrible shape and my staying at Flag was the solution. I got sick almost immediately. First clue. Failed to recognize it. Stuck in a little room with seven other sick folks. Finally got on a routing form and was told that I had to do my entire training Bridge all over again. This was not panning out to be the three week excursion and back to Dallas that I’d been promised. No money coming in at home, family waiting on me. PTPed is a good description.  Then came the registered letter that I was going to be fired from my job if I was not back in Dallas within a week. For this I was relegated to sitting in an underground vault reading Ethics materials and doing MEST work all day. I felt like a low life, I decided that I must be a low life. I finally took off on my own, rode a bus to the Tampa airport where I got a call from the CC Int missionaire in Dallas who had started this fiasco. I had apparently kicked off a firestorm of a clusterf**k. Never once did it dawn upon me that I was in any way or shape in the right for wanting to take care of my family. Finally I got my ass out of Clearwater and back home where I elected that I was not interested in participating in the staff “thang” any more. I attended events, went to the Christmas parties, read books. But nothing more.

By now you’d think that I’d learned my lesson. Apparently not. The ideal org rolling road show came to town and I went on down, thrilled by the prospect of Scientology expanding. You see, I had never lost that inner fire, that desire to help, that desire to see the world become a better place and for mankind to go free. First thing that happened, we were taken into a room and told that there were suppressives in Dallas and that they were gonna be rooted out. Grim solemnity filled the room and I revisited my secret fears that I was basically evil unlike the rest of the world.  But I was by God gonna make it go right and help despite being basically evil! I made calls, I attended every single fund raiser, I did my level best. Then came the fateful night at the Los Colinas Country Club where I got the bum’s rush of all time.  Ganged up on and there I was with a pen in my hand, deciding that I had no choice but to sign. Oh the regret as soon as I did sign. Instead of elation I felt morbidly fearful. What had I done?

What followed was a two year debacle of trying to get someone to listen to me, that I did not want to be on staff. My words fell upon deaf ears. I was hopeless, no one would listen. I still wanted to do the right thing in the right way.

Then I found out that my old friend Steve Hall had been declared. This just did not seem right. I contacted Steve. Funny, he didn’t sound like a suppressive person. Further research opened my eyes. So many other people who suddenly up and morphed into suppressives? Shot full of outpoints! I saw more and more that what Ron had intended as a vehicle to carry his work forward to the world had been hijacked and “1984ed”.

As the scales fell off of my eyes I realized how much of my self determinism I had surrendered lo those years. I’d been feeling creepy around certain persons for good reasons! I’d been disagreeing with certain actions and policies for good reasons! As this period of research and epiphany continued I began to gain a renewed confidence in myself. My gains began to materialize. Gains that had been submerged by out and out PTSness to a group. And that group, per the S&D material is represented by one person - David Miscavige.

So to the 97.5 % good people who still walk the halls of corporate greed, I announce to you that I am no longer a member of your group. I can no longer maintain any shred of connection to such an operation. My wish and hope is that you take Ron’s words to heart and look for yourself. Be a skeptic as he describes in “How to Study Scientology”. Don’t let others fill your head with “now I’m supposed to”.

One final thing to say. I am a Scientologist. I have been since that fateful day in Fort Worth over thirty years ago when i first laid eyes upon DMSMH.

I am a Scientologist, I am not a robot.

I am a Scientologist, I spent over thirty years trying to Clear the planet through the vehicle of the corporate organization called Church of Scientology in spite of all my internal misgivings and gut feelings that something was wrong. That’s over. I am me.

— Robin Rhyne

Post Script: I did not delve into the details of all that I found disagreeable. Suffice it to say that there are websites that perform that task meticulously, namely:

http://markrathbun.wordpress.com/
http://www.friendsoflrh.org/
http://www.savescientology.com/
http://www.scientology-cult.com